Avoiding the Vacuous

    Raymond Zhou, who writes a column for China Daily, and bilingually blogs, warns us against the reinvention of the kowtow: 

Winter vacation is around the corner, and a management school at Zhengzhou University has given one special assignment to students happily going home to celebrate Spring Festival: perform a kowtow to their parents.

The students are generally not pleased, according to media reports. The school explained that kowtowing is the highest manifestation of gratitude in China, and to do that to your parents during the Chinese New Year is not asking too much.

I don't know what's in the students' minds, but I don't think it's a good idea, either.

       This is another effort to try to hold on to, or recreate, some sense of cultural continuity within the flux of hyper-modernization.  The general impulse is not peculiar to China - there is a search for lost times (temps perdu) in all modern societies.  In the US, the continuing appeal of religion speaks to that same desire to connect with something timeless and significant.  In China, the yearning more often manifests itself in a reach into the past to revive or reinterpret ancient cultural practices.  Thus, the contemporary kowtow (ketou).

     But Zhou is not buying it, not, at least, in an involuntary form:

However, kowtowing is awkward. It implies supplication and is more often associated, through endless images in television soap operas, with inferiority. It is more a symbol of submission and respect than one of love and thankfulness.

I'm not against children who willingly kowtow to their folks. Physically it is by no means acrobatic, but if forced to perform the act, people will adjust their mentality and strip the gesture of any inherent meaning, which will evolve into another vacuous ritual.

     Ah, there's the rub: the school officials are attempting to return to some form of Confucian ritual.  You know, filial piety to such a degree that children prostrate themselves on the floor at their parents feet, knocking their heads on the ground so hard as to make an audible sound.  This gets the notion of "ritual" all wrong.  The form of the action is meaningless if the intention is not genuine: that is what Confucius would say, at least.  To force someone to perform a particular gesture does nothing to engender the good social effects of ritual that Confucius envisioned.  The whole point of such exercises is to meaningfully embody one's social responsibilities and relationships.  It must be generated by deeply held feelings.

     Zhou, in my opinion, turns out to be the better interpreter of the modern possibilities for Confucian-inspired social action:

Honestly, I cannot imagine kowtowing will have the same impact. Most probably, the parent will laugh a little out of unease and say "Rise! Rise!" which is a common line in costume drama. Everyone will regard it as play-acting, just like the offering and refusal of cigarettes as a greeting routine.

No, I don't think it is humiliating to kowtow to mom and dad if, unlike in feudal dynasties, it does not entail the surrender of one's free will. But as a token of love, it is just not as heartfelt and pragmatic as other options.

Here are some alternatives:

You can attend one less gathering with old buddies and instead scrub the floor, wash the dishes and do the laundry. In that way, your parents can enjoy a well-deserved rest.

Or you can take your parents for a walk in the local park, chatting with their buddies for a change. That'll probably take up a few hours of "Nintendo time".

In the very least, you can hug your parents and say: "Thank you for your love." Why give "free hugs" to strangers on the street when you can give it to the people who deserve it most?

    Yes.  Hanging out and showing your love.  Washing the dishes: that is even better.  What matters here is not some stale re-enactment of an anachronistic gesture.  What matters is being present and engaged, and finding the kind of action that demonstrates unambiguously your understanding of the social milieu.  We needn't copy outmoded Confucian forms, but we might strive to apprehend and express the Confucian heart.

Comments

[The Western Confucian]

It does seem awkward to reinstate rituals that have been lost, but here in Korea, the kowtow (called a keuncheol, or "big bow") was never lost.

"[F]ilial piety to such a degree that children prostrate themselves on the floor at their parents feet, knocking their heads on the ground so hard as to make an audible sound" is a part of everyone's life, especially at Lunar New year and the other big celebrations.

I once read a Spanish matador who said that the first lesson of courage is physical, that he was taught to walk in a away that produces courage. Perhaps the keuncheol offers a phyical lesson in filial piety. I've performed it several times to my in-laws'. It's not at all humiliating, in the Confucian Korean context at least.

[Sam Crane]

Perhaps this is why we sometimes here that South Korea is the "most Confucian" of all contemporary places - although that fater-son dynasty in the North might merit some consideration...

[The Western Confucian]

I would agree that South Korea is the "most Confucian" society. I once met a graduate student from China who said he had to come here to learn about traditional Chinese society.