What Would Confucius Say?

    Another milestone in the continuing redefinition of the American family:

For what experts say is probably the first time, more American women are living without a husband than with one, according to a New York Times analysis of census results.

In 2005, 51 percent of women said they were living without a spouse, up from 35 percent in 1950 and 49 percent in 2000.

Coupled with the fact that in 2005 married couples became a minority of all American households for the first time, the trend could ultimately shape social and workplace policies, including the ways government and employers distribute benefits.

 It is a reminder of the transforming context of modern American life.  For someone interested in how Confucianism might relate to that context, it seems to me that it does no good to judge this as a "decline" or tragedy.  While it is true that, in his own time Confucius assumed male heads of households as the "gentlemen" who would work toward Humanity.  The beauty of his thought is that process of cultivating close personal and social relationships to develop one's moral sensibilities and perform goodness in the world.  We just have to expand our definitions of "family" and "social relationships" to accomodate the variety of ways in which people now choose to make meaningful lives.  To make Confucius relevant we have to adapt his thinking to changing social circumstances - or just let go and cede the field of ethics to other, more flexible, systems of thought.

    I say we adapt and keep the conversation going...

Comments

[Allan Lian]

Based on the statistics, the experts say that only 49% women are married and live with their spouses. Confucius may say that it is not entirely true if the experts were trying to use the statistics to highlight a breakdown in family values, since 9% of the women are widows, 3% are separated, and 2% of the women are still waiting for their spouses to return.

Widows need not remarry – even in ancient times - and yet can still look after the family. Those separated can still get back together, and some spouses of the 2% women may return one day for the love of family. The 11% divorcees of which single mothers can still look after the family, which leaves the 25% unmarried women which is quite normal. The unmarried women could be biding their time or still too young to be married and start a family. (1% of the women were unaccounted for.)

If the father has passed away or has left, a filial son can take his place when he grows older to head the family. One is sure his mother would then be proud, pleased and relieved. This also represent the changing of times and circumstances. And if Sam does not continue teaching Confucian ethics to Americans and the world, even the ancients could be peeved!